Dating websites are more popular than ever, but it’s very important to take precautions when you’re looking for love online.  Romance scam victims in the United States and Canada have reported losing nearly $1 billion over the last three years, according to a Better Business Bureau study. 

“These scammers create fake accounts and play on your emotions,” said BBB spokesperson Bryan Oglesby.  “They’re going to play on those emotions and try to take your money or steal your personal identity.”

That doesn’t mean you can’t find that special someone online -- in fact, many people do -- but take steps to protect both your personal and financial safety whenever you use an online dating website or app. 

Protecting Yourself

Jen Noble started using online dating about six months ago.  She signed up for an account on Match.com to help her connect with active, professional men over 50. She was careful not to share too much personal information, at first, before meeting them in person. 

“I would not give them my phone number, nor would I give them my last name,” Noble explained.  “You’ve got to be savvy, and you’ve got to be safe about it.” 

It’s best to only interact with a prospective date on the dating website platform, at first, until you actually meet in person. That gives you added protection, because they won’t have your personal contact information.  

After a couple of weeks communicating with someone online, it’s a good idea to meet in person.  That makes it possible to better judge the other person and confirm they are not a “fake.”

“I would meet them at a public place, during the day—at a place like Starbucks. No alcohol, because alcohol can kind of cloud your judgment.” Noble said. “Plus, with coffee, it’s a very low cost if you’re not clicking.”

She’s exactly right.  It’s also important to drive yourself, tell friends or family members where you are going, and let them know when the meeting is over.

“I would text at least two of my friends, and I would drop a pin where I was, and I would tell them the name of the person I was meeting,” Noble explained.

Spotting Fake Profiles

There are some tip-offs to fake profiles to keep in mind.  When a dating profile has only one picture or sparse details about the individual that could be a red flag.

The BBB’s Oglesby showed us a search of “romance scams” on the BBB Scam Tracker website, and there were dozens of reported scams scattered throughout the state over the past year.

“This person reported in September that they lost $10,000 in a romance scam,” Oglesby said, pointing to a red dot plotted on the map of Florida.  “You have to keep your guard up; consumers are losing money.”

To protect yourself, the BBB recommends you do a reverse image search on the profile picture for a prospective date.

“Right click on the image. Then go to ‘Search Google for Image,’ and what it will do is search for that image everywhere on the Internet.  If it shows up in multiple places as a stock photo, that’s a red flag,” Oglesby explained.

Asking for Money

Another bright red flag is if someone asks you for money. Walk away, no matter how compelling their story might be. 

“They’re going to connect with you, establish a relationship, pretend to be someone they’re really not; and then, once they create that connection-- an emergency is gonna happen, and they’re gonna ask you to send them money,” Oglesby said, explaining how the scam evolves. 

These scammers look at this as a long-term effort with a big pay-off.

“You have that connection with them, so you’re more likely to believe what they say and send them the money they’re asking for.  Don’t do it!” he warned.

Another key thing that should make you suspicious is when someone keeps making excuses about why they can’t meet in person. 

“Excuse after excuse. So, another tip off to the fraud is that they’re not willing to meet you in person,” Oglesby said.

Excuses to avoid meeting in person

Noble has never had anyone ask her for money, but she did encounter a few men making excuses when it came time to meet in person.

“Like, at the last minute, ‘Hey, I’m coming down with the flu. I can’t make it.’  And one was, ‘I’m stuck at the DMV,’” she said, laughing.

Jen was smart to cut off contact in those instances.  Most importantly, she always followed safety precautions when she did meet someone in person.

“You definitely need to be careful,” she said. “I think I took good precautions.”

Meeting Safety Tips:

• Talk on the dating website, rather than off-line, until after you’ve met in person and feel more comfortable.  
• Don’t give out your last name, phone number, and email, before you meet in person.
• If there’s a connection, try to meet in person after a couple of weeks.
• Tell friends when and where you are going to meet someone
• Meet in a busy, public place
• Drive yourself to the date and drive yourself home; don’t let them pick you up
• Try to meet for coffee, instead of drinks or dinner. It’s more casual
• No alcohol; stay sober

Happy Ending

Five percent of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online, according to a recent TheKnot.com survey.

In Noble’s case, she did meet someone on the dating site and has made a strong connection. 

“It’s going well so far. We’ll see,” she said, smiling.