CLEARWATER, Fla. — For Gary Sprigg and his wife Gayle, both 80, what was supposed to be the carefree years, turned into full-time care.
"I make the meals," said Gary Sprigg. "I don’t like her getting near things like stoves.”
Gayle Sprigg has dementia.
"It is what it is, I mean, ya know, I can’t change it," said Gary Sprigg. "Everybody has told me that, you can’t change it, so don’t try."
Things the pair once did together, like make lunch, Gary Sprigg now takes on.
“She has lost those skills, that is what the dementia does," said Gary Sprigg, as he makes two simple meals in their Largo home. “I mean we are trying to keep it as normal as we can. Don't we hun?"
"Yeah," said Gayle Sprigg from the living room. Her short-term memory is very limited.
The pair have only been married a few years. Both are widowed and started dating later in life.
“I could tell that she needed someone, and I applied for the job," said Gary Sprigg, with a loving smile.
Before they had tied the knot, Gary Sprigg witnessed the signs of dementia. Doctors confirmed the memory loss signs almost immediately when he took her to get checked.
“From then on we have been adjusting?" said Gary to Gayle.
She giggles, and he smiles back.
Making meals at home is one thing, but going out to a restaurant, that can present its own set of problems.
“When we go in, I don’t want to have to stand up and make a public announcement," said Gary Sprigg.
So when he goes to restaurants he brings a card that reads, “My loved one has a memory disorder, thank you for your patience.” He got the card from BayCare's Memory Disorder Clinic.
This year, Celisa Bonner with BayCare began working with local restaurants to start a new program called Dementia-Friendly Dining. This gives restaurants training to better assist people who have dementia and other memory disorders.
O'Keefe's Tavern in Clearwater was the first restaurant to sign up.
“It lets customers know that we are training for dementia friendly dinning. So that when they come in, they know we are going to take good care of them," said John O'Brien, O'Keefe's manager.
O'Brien and his staff went through the training.
“Yeah, I know what it was to go out and not having someone there that cared," said O'Brien.
He understands dementia because his grandmother, mother and aunt all were diagnosed with the disease.
“It is sad to see it because ya know they go from slowly, slowly not being there anymore," said O'Brien.
O'Brien said his staff learned a lot during the training. For example, people can't always remember what they ordered, so his staff is patient and understanding if it takes a few times to get what they want for food and drink.
“You are going to have that one? The Pub Chicken?" said Gary Sprigg, as he points down at the menu inside O'Keefe's. "That is my marker, that is how I remember what you want.”
Gary Sprigg always marks what Gayle Sprigg wants with his finger, then he orders what he wants.
When a restaurant completes the training, it gets a sticker to put in the window or the entrance. It will read, “Dementia Friendly Dining.”
“I do think that more restaurants should do it. It is just a matter of caring. I mean they are people," said O'Brien.
People who want to enjoy lunch or dinner with friends, without worry or judgment.
So far Sonny's BBQ in Largo has also participated, along with Cali's in St. Petersburg.
“It is all about just becoming more sensitive to the subject. Right? And spreading awareness. So I feel like every restaurant can do this, and every restaurant can learn how to be a little bit more sensitive, spread awareness," said Tara Boyle, senior marketing manager, Sonny’s BBQ.
Restaurants interested in receiving the training can reach out to BayCare's Memory Disorders Center.